often, these things can't be explained

bad mood : /

chapter one:
in which i die alone
chapter two:
the art of skipping stones
chapter three:
i see your garden’s grown
chapter four:
now all the birds have flown
chapter five:
the breaking of my bones
chapter six:
i wander and i roam
chapter seven:
this is not a home
chapter eight:
the rest remains unknown

everyday
somebody dies
i don’t bother
asking why
the wise old man
who never lies
taught me how
to say goodbye

to the future
and the past
when looking through
the looking glass
you can see
right through my mask
but how long does
a moment last?

and what comes next
i’ll never know
time is strange
it ebbs and flows
people hurt
like gardens grow
life is but
the undertow

and the river wanders
to the sea
my twisted smile’s
what makes me free
beautiful
is so ugly
oh, i love you
because i’m me-

human? no
i’m something else
and often i
am not myself

dealing dreams
to gods and ghosts
well, what is it
you fear the most?

life and death
they are the same
you just gave her
different names

mortals watch
the seasons change
my lover thinks
it’s sad and strange

i lost my heart
to find my soul
can you relate
to bullet holes?

cause never in
my whole damn life
did i let go of
my old man’s knife

so, friend or foe
i do not know
i just want to see
your wild eyes glow

chasing smoke
and shooting stars
still wonderin’ what
the hell we are

you are under no obligation to make sense

wishful thinking let me down
they buried her in the ground
what is lost may still be found
and silence is the sweetest sound

but what you find may not complete
your heavy heart, how did we meet?
hallucinations love the heat
i’ve eaten half the god-damn sheet

of misery - mortality
i’m writing you a eulogy
oh, i don’t miss the memory
just the pretty lights, you see..

life is light
and death is love
well, what is it
that you dream of?
angels falling
from above
it always comes
to push and shove..

running, running
never done
blinded by
the sommer sun
oh, i believe
that we are one
but what is it
that i’ve become?

just wake me up
before you go
kiss my eyes
i’ll never know
in her garden
sadness grows
in my own mind
madness flows

and truth be told
i’m getting old
oh, i have been
so callous, cold
to the ones
who tried to hold
my hand, i was
already whole..

i was running for so long
i forgot the way back home
one day i just settled down
thinking i would build my own

i gave my heart to everyone
who believed in something raw
beauty is a broken thing
and i know only one good law

seasons change and so do i
strange we share the same damn sky
i will sing this song for you
but first you must close your eyes..

i found a spider’s web
abandoned in my head
riddled with the dead
words i never said

i never loved the light
quite as much as night
the shadows on the wall
flicker then they fall
a trail of smoke parts from
my lips & i go numb
to the memories
i never thought i’d see
the end of everything
i threw away your ring
and fell into a dream
a beautiful machine
created and destroyed
terror fills the void
but i forgive you, mom
and dad, it’s just a song..

if you want to play
god, don’t run away
from the ones who pray
to you, everyday..

“fuck me i’m insane”

sleeping in the shade
i am not afraid
of the bed i made
when the boundaries start to fade
well, how about a trade
my blood for your blade
from the path, i strayed
and all dreams must decay